The first formal introduction to any than the vaguest impression of breathing (i did it 'wrong' as in, i wd tighten my stomach on the in breath). When i sought the Sufis (whom i found in the San Francisco White Pages under the name Sufi Islamia Ruhamiat Society (due to irrational prejudice the Society has dropped the Islamia and is now simply The Sufi Ruhaniat International. My teacher was Ahmaddin As-Salik in the lineage of the current Pir of the order, Moineddin Jablonski. After Ahmaddin's death, and other factors, i chose to focus on the mundane part of my life. I started at City College in 2000. 11 years and i have 3 classes to go on a 2 year certificate program. considering the difficulty of Design 110 - Rapid Visualization i may take just that one class in the fall. City College is tired of me, and no longer offers financial aid. That does not rule out scholarships, which require 2 letters of recommendation (check - at least as far as asking. Both would like some personal details that might be relevant, and what the committee is looking for. I attended a seminar on scholarships. My major life challenge boils down to procrastination. I very well cd have hammered out a letter to my two instructors w/ the data they need. The due date is the 4th - shd have already done it, and tonite is not too late. not to speak of the letter i have to write myself, explaining my struggles and how i have overcome then. I only have a high GPA on my side. a poor completion ratio, but that will be wiped out if i take the additional 5-8 classes i need to transfer to state. If going to school is like pulling teeth, why do it? Alison Miller suggested that 'it is the only game in town'. that is, if they are gonna pay me to go to school, may as well. well, let's see how Scholarships pan out. I get as much as the FEDs say is my need. Since my own personal contribution is close to zero, i qualify for approx $16,000 in scholarship money. which, declared on my taxes the right way, does not affect my disability payments. (Tho the accountant at A.C.O.R.N. used a 'deferment' that may come back and bite me. fortunately i know a real accountant if such a thing were to manifest, i think he might take me on as a charity case.)
I don't suppose any of that has to do w/ Shakespeare. So far, in my reading among the critics, i have encountered the thesis that much of Shakespeare's later texts contain incoherencies that scholars attempt in vain to edit into some kind of sense. The counter thesis that the speeches of Leontes and Polixenes, rather than revealing a lack of sense in the original, tho obscure, reveal that instead of blaming Shakespeare for creating lines that are nonsense, that Shakespeare is exploring a theme, which has to do w/ power over and a refusal of ambiguity. Those in power cannot tolerate the ambiguous. Went to the Rosenberg Library at City College and found Ted Hughes exploring the NeoPlatonic/Alchemical milieu that was part of the circle that commissioned Love's Labour's Lost. I haven't read enough of Ted Hughes book to judge his thesis, but he prefaces his introduction by asking the gentle reader to abandon, for the sake of a thought experiment, the Shakespeare of psychological realism, and see instead a 'mythic' writer. To join him in exploring the underground grottoes and structures of Shakespeare's mythic imagination. I put the book aside at the beginning of the chapter on Venus and Adonis. By now i know that Hughes intends to show that the image of (in Grail imagery) 'the dolorous blow' in particular the roman variant the Shakespeare makes his own. I haven't read that, which mebbe i will do right now. let's see if i can find the text online.
[… … …](read along w/ me)
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